Why the hell is it always piano?

[katakokk]

So today's the homecoming dance. And I was excited.

But I should really stop getting excited for ANYTHING. Because the moment I'm excited for something, my mom ruins it. No exceptions. SHE ALWAYS RUINS IT.

GAWD.

Okay, so we it's been established that I technically quit playing piano. Well, I quit taking lessons.

But in my mother's mind, that means that I should still be practicing all the time and learning all these pieces.

And it's not like I DON'T learn anything. I taught myself Yiruma's River Flows in You. But, NOOOOOOOOO. Music I printed off the internet isn't real music. I mean, seriously, where the hell does she get this kinda logic?

So my teacher gave me this book when I still took lessons that had some songs from famous stuff in it (well, the song were, like, I Dreamed a Dream, Where Do I Begin, etc.). And so I can play a couple of those, and then when my mom's in an alright mood, she does nothing.

WHEN SHE'S IN A FREAKIN' GOOD MOOD, she comes up with this RIDICULOUS goal for ME (aren't I the one who's supposed to be making goals for MYSELF?) to play ALL the songs in that book. And it's like, GAWD, woman, why don't YOU just learn to play the piano, then? Seriously.

She just doesn't understand that it DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. I can't play every fucking song in that book FIVE TIMES if (a) I DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE SONGS, and (b) I DON'T WANT TO. She knows that I don't write that often because it doesn't work when I'm not inspired or motivated. WELL ALL ARTS WORK THAT WAY. SHE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY?

Because the only reason why she wants me to play all these "good songs" is so she has a goddamn ENTERTAINER.

FUCK YOU, WOMAN.

YOU COULD VERY WELL AFFORD AN ENTERTAINER WITH ALL THE FREAKING MONEY YOU PUT IN THE BANK. I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR FUCKIN' PRIVATE PIANIST. NOT FOR FREE. NOT FOR CASH. NOT FOR EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED.

I love piano, I really do, it just when my mother forces these demands on me that it I just want to go and chop my stupid piano up into a bunch of little pieces.

GODDAMMIT. I was going to work on developing my NaNoWriMo stuff. But I'm too pissed off now.

EDIT: Just something more interesting and less depressing for y'all.


Total comments: 1714

1	katakokk		771
2	breyzyyin		184
3	smakn		132
4	tainee		63
5	mizubunshin		61
6	rangan_ryu		54
7	sapphireluna		44
8	biancamela		36
9	dark_star_tears		28
10	raincloud77		25
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12	mycassandra		22
13	chariel		20
14	pixelwater		20
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19	renaliner		13
20	estrella_blanca		11
21	simpleflower		11
22	lovexyax2		8
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Comments

[mycassandra.livejournal.com]

It's hard to play songs you are not familiar with in the first place, and maybe that's one of the things you need to establish with her. *hugs*

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Awwww, thanks. *hugs back*

[mycassandra.livejournal.com]

I play the piano too, so I know how difficult it is (like, you never know if you're doing it right). And right now, I'm learning the violin, and I most certainly don't like it when I'm being pushed or forced to practice. Sometimes, I feel like saying, "hey, I'm telling myself I'll learn the violin, and when I say I will, I will". XD

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Hahah, yeah. I learned violin for a while....but kinda quite after some glitch in the school system kicked me outta orchestra on accident. D:

[emeraldocean.livejournal.com]

I-I know this might sound mean, but your mom needs to get off her high horse. 8\ Really.

Have you talked to her about all those things? And if you have, but she just ignores you...8| Make her listen. If you go out to dinner / breakfast / lunch or anything, do it there. Or I'll go talk yo her for you. >8(

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. I've stopped taking offense to what people say about my mom a long time ago.

I've tried, but it almost always results in me getting angry and her getting angry and then us having another argument that goes in circles. BUT I WILL TRY AGAIN NOW THAT I AM CALMER. *nods*

[emeraldocean.livejournal.com]

If you do it in front of people, she might not want to be a show? And...yeah.

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

*sigh* If only that would work. My mother is oblivious to making a scene.

[sapphireluna.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say that could help ;/ Except..well it's your life and your talent so do whatever you want.

And yay I'm 7th XD

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. :D

HAHAHAA, somehow I'm first. I don't think I commented on my own stuff that often. I just replied to stuff. O___O

[breyzyyin.livejournal.com]

There's not much I can say that will help...but, yeah, it's unfair of her to expect you to do something you really don't want to do. Some parents just have a hard time seeing things that way. *hugs*

~Lolz, we're number 2! :D

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. *hugs back* Well, I have gone through the exact same thing in several different entries...so yeah. XD

~Yes, y'all are!

[rangan-ryu.livejournal.com]

Mothers are very unfair sometimes.
Force and high expectations aren't nice things.

*hugs* ♥

Have fun at homecoming! :D

Disregard my previous comment please -- that was a stupid place for me to have put a heart. -___-

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

I know. D:

*hugs back* ♥

Thanks! Hahaah, I did have a lot of fun. :D

[simpleflower.livejournal.com]

I can relate to your situation. I have to play the piano everyday for 1 hour. It's pressurising sometimes when my mum makes me play and play and play. Gosh, I ask her sometimes does she know how frustrating it is? ARGH. *hugs*

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

It works the same here. D:
*hugs back*

[smakn.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm third! ^-^

That's terrible, being forced to do something when you don't want to. It's like making something you love into a job and then realizing you only like it as a hobby. D<

Well, I hope you can get something for NaNoWriMo done...D:

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Teehee.

I know. That's what I try to explain to her, but it just doesn't work. D:

Hahahaha, all I have so far is NAMES. Actually, I don't even really have names. I just have this idea that my primary characters will switch names regularly (like, if one of them's name was....Ann, they would switch it around a lot: Anne, Annie, Annabelle, etc.)

[biancamela.livejournal.com]

): <3

Write your mom into your novel somehow? Ranting can really up your word count. :D

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

♥

HMMMM....I LIKE YOUR IDEA, MAI. THANKEE THEE. XD

[mizubunshin.livejournal.com]

OH LAWRD.
I think your mother's going throught menopause.
Just try reasoning with her that you'd prefer not to play each song over and over and over and over again.
Be more ninja about this situation! It always works better when you endure your parents' shit for a while and when they mellow out and feel alright you can try talking to them.
Take care! And BREATHE, girl! Don't let your mum get to you.
<3

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

LOL, that might be true.
I'll try!
I SHALL BE MORE NINJA. THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. THANKEE, MIZUBUNSHIN. ♥

[estrella-blanca.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear all this drama with your mamma. (OMG RHYME. LULZ.) But seriously, I wish things will work out for the better. ;_;

20?! I'M GETTING UP TO THE TOP TEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, nice rhyming. It's okay for now. Thank you for the kind wishes! ♥

LOL. AND I WILL BE GETTING TO THE TOP OF YOURS. Along with writing a novel and doing a research paper. OH LAHWDY.