Why the hell is it always piano?

[katakokk]

So today's the homecoming dance. And I was excited.

But I should really stop getting excited for ANYTHING. Because the moment I'm excited for something, my mom ruins it. No exceptions. SHE ALWAYS RUINS IT.

GAWD.

Okay, so we it's been established that I technically quit playing piano. Well, I quit taking lessons.

But in my mother's mind, that means that I should still be practicing all the time and learning all these pieces.

And it's not like I DON'T learn anything. I taught myself Yiruma's River Flows in You. But, NOOOOOOOOO. Music I printed off the internet isn't real music. I mean, seriously, where the hell does she get this kinda logic?

So my teacher gave me this book when I still took lessons that had some songs from famous stuff in it (well, the song were, like, I Dreamed a Dream, Where Do I Begin, etc.). And so I can play a couple of those, and then when my mom's in an alright mood, she does nothing.

WHEN SHE'S IN A FREAKIN' GOOD MOOD, she comes up with this RIDICULOUS goal for ME (aren't I the one who's supposed to be making goals for MYSELF?) to play ALL the songs in that book. And it's like, GAWD, woman, why don't YOU just learn to play the piano, then? Seriously.

She just doesn't understand that it DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. I can't play every fucking song in that book FIVE TIMES if (a) I DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE SONGS, and (b) I DON'T WANT TO. She knows that I don't write that often because it doesn't work when I'm not inspired or motivated. WELL ALL ARTS WORK THAT WAY. SHE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY?

Because the only reason why she wants me to play all these "good songs" is so she has a goddamn ENTERTAINER.

FUCK YOU, WOMAN.

YOU COULD VERY WELL AFFORD AN ENTERTAINER WITH ALL THE FREAKING MONEY YOU PUT IN THE BANK. I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR FUCKIN' PRIVATE PIANIST. NOT FOR FREE. NOT FOR CASH. NOT FOR EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED.

I love piano, I really do, it just when my mother forces these demands on me that it I just want to go and chop my stupid piano up into a bunch of little pieces.

GODDAMMIT. I was going to work on developing my NaNoWriMo stuff. But I'm too pissed off now.

EDIT: Just something more interesting and less depressing for y'all.


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Comments

[sapphireluna.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say that could help ;/ Except..well it's your life and your talent so do whatever you want.

And yay I'm 7th XD

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. :D

HAHAHAA, somehow I'm first. I don't think I commented on my own stuff that often. I just replied to stuff. O___O